Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Bunches To Celebrate
The flower vendor was an old hand at unloading his last few bunches. Appealing to a businessman on his way home, the vendor said, "How about a nice bunch of roses to surprise your wife?"
"Haven't got a wife," responded the businessman gruffly.
"Then how about some carnations for your girlfriend?" proposed the vendor without missing a beat.
"Haven't got a girlfriend."
"You lucky guy!" The vendor broke into a big smile. "Buy both bunches to celebrate!"
Art Gallery Nudes
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn.”