Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Short Jokes

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.
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Fred: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?
Joe: Seen one? I married one
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Policeman: I am sorry to have to tell you this Mr Brown, but you wife has just fallen into the wishing well and drowned.
Mr Brown: It works!
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Wife: What do you mean coming home half drunk at this time of night?
Husband: It's not my fault - I ran out of money.
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Husband: Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun.
Wife: Yeah, but if you get home before me, remember to leave the front door open.
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Man to marriage counselor: "My wife and I can't agree on our vacation.
I want to go to Bermuda and she wants to go with me."
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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!" His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
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There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
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Will be Continued

What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?

Divorce him
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What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?

Marriage.
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Will be Continued


A boy says, "Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married!" The father says, "For that son, you have to have a boy and a girl." The son says, "I've found a girl." "Who?" "My grandmother." "Let me get this straight," the father says. "You want to marry my mother? You can't do that." "Well, why not?" the son says. "You married mine!"
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Will be Continued

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