A husband and wife were arguing on whether males or females enjoy sex better. The husband says "of course it's us men, why else would we be so obsessed with it?". The his wife says, "stick your finger in your ear and wriggle it around. What comes out feeling better, the finger or the hole?"
He'll Be Late :
She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said.
"Where was he?""
Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you."